Nobody gets excited about boring brands or boring products. This is no revelation, of course, yet so many brands continually treat their products like formalities. And their videos? Oh boy do they hurt my soul.

To celebrate this, here’s a somewhat funny, very sarcastic Top 5 list of boring things to make your boring product more boring.   

[Disclaimer:  the following blog post is very sarcastic.]

Number 5

Show an awkward engineer holding the boring product and talking to the camera about boring tech specs & features. This becomes magical if it can happen on a tradeshow floor. People love it, especially if you can achieve horrible back-lighting.

Number 4

Create an epic testimonial video for your boring product. Make it so long it could be shown in 3 acts, complete with intermissions. Have your “happy customer” meander off the point several times. For good measure, have the guy say hello to somebody walking by during the shoot. Pro tip:  don’t edit it. Leave it raw.  Pro tip #2: shoot it with a GoPro because, you know, your company is #EXTREME.

Number 3  

Use an old, D-List celebrity endorsement. Call Tony Danza or Jim J Bullock or Wilfred Brimley. Any one of these celebrities will give your boring product that high-class, high-engagement feel. Bonus points if you can get Wilfred to say “Dia-beet-us.”

Number 2

Do a low-res screen capture video for your new boring software product. Make sure the audio sounds like it’s being routed from an old Jack in the Box drive thru speaker. Pro-tip:  make the video 12 minutes and put it on your home page. Pro-tip #2:  make sure the guy hosting the video is a heavy breather.

Number 1  

OK, let’s get serious. The most common, boring tactic we see… is when companies put less-than-enthused team members in their product marketing video productions. They are uncomfortable at best. At worst, they look bored. And because of this, the viewer is turned off or is simply focused on how weird your company seems. This makes your value proposition fade into the background. Not a good way to kick off a relationship with a potential customer.